My hair was never meant to be straightened.
My kinks are my origin.
They curl, locking in my identity.
I wear this crown not to please you,
Definitely not to abide by your rules.
My hair is my blackness.
Unapologetic, unashamed and non of your business.
My hair is not an anomaly or a taboo.
Just because you don’t understand it,
Don’t mean I should change it for you.
Let me tell you what should change,
You misconstrued social construct.
That a black person must renounce themselves
To feed onto your ego.
The fake pedestal you build
That blackness is something needing change.
That we identify as human when we
Have adopted your ways.
This crown, I will wear it.
Free, untied not hidden.
In your face!
So that you can trace my roots.
In each strand.
I am of plenty and of black.
I do not lack anything.
Leave my crown alone!!!
Till the pen dries, paper finishes and my arm hurts. I will write about you.
And the words would breathe life into you. So that I wouldn’t be thinking of phrases for eulogies. For this pain can’t be shared…
I bury my friend. But never the memories in the moments that bound us. Never. I hold on. To your smile in each wink.
I think I am stronger now. I realize how you’ve never needed me as much as I did you. Your comfort. I miss. Your laughter. I miss. You.
Time cannot heal or enable me to deal with goodbyes. Because the ways you stole my soul at hello, were more than once.
So Return If Possible. Give me back the air which was you. Give me the strength you fought for life but couldn’t no more. Give me you.
Be careful what you wish for
You might end up tied in dreams of what seems to be real.
Might find your mind filled with thoughts of nights…
Of fights within, fights you never win…
I tried to erase your smile while I day dreamed of you.
And in moments where I found my eyes searching for yours
You are not here. I can hear the silent screams gnawing
Inside the depths of my heart, I imagine you.
Sometimes I wonder if you realize the strength with which
You pull my heart strings, slowly untie the ribbons
I’ve hidden from you
All because I wished for a moment to talk to you.
I was never careful but always wishing..