September Secrets

“I’d like to propose a toast, “, he held the glass up, pushing back the tears in his eyes, “To my best friend, Tom, may you be happy in your marriage. Cheers!”. He left the room as fast as he could. He felt his feet become numb. And he stopped somewhere between the reception room and the parking lot.

Music played and people were laughing and smiling, celebrating the new marriage of Maya and Tom and Prince was broken. He had wished to be him who married Maya. Him who became her husband. Him. And as these thought circled in his head, he let tears flow. And in that moment, the bride came from behind him. “There you are! Are you ok?”, Prince recognized Maya’s voice anywhere. Wiping away tears from his eyes, “I’m fine. Why are you here?”, he cleared his throat. He felt her moving toward him, and he breathed in every scent on her perfume inside. Taking long deep breathes. “Prince, what is going on?”, she asked with worry. Prince left her there, never having looked into her eyes.

“I do not want to be selfish”, he said. “How can you be selfish, you have never been. Prince? Look at me”, she demanded. He wanted to move away from her but this was the time for him to tell her the truth. He turned around to look at her, eyes red and unable to breathe consistently. “Prince? Are you not feeling well?”. “Maya, there is something I need to tell you”, he moved to hold her hand and caught a glimpse of her wedding band. He hesitated for a while. “What is it?”, she prompted him. “I love you Maya”, he said finally catching his breathe. “Aww Prince, I love you too”, she assured him. “No! Maya. I, I, I am in love with you”. He looked into her eyes to make her see he meant every word. She looked at him and felt as if the Earth could swallow her whole. “I have always wanted to tell you but I never got the chance to explain”, he continued. “And now you are married to Tom, my best friend, and it is killing me that-“, she interrupted him “Oh my God! You love me? Tom told me you did not even like me. I had told him I like you”, as she spoke, Prince started to remember everything and he got angry then blurted out, “I had told him I like you and he said he will talk to you about it. He told me you never liked me as well.” They stood there in awe then Tom came. He saw the way the looked at each other. They had not seen him come. “So this is where you two kids are hiding?” Prince was so angry the only thing he could do was hit Tom and he did. He hit him hard. Tom never woke up.

 

 

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Branches of us

Once upon a tree, we carved our named inside a heart. We were young and naïve, we thought we would be together forever. Forever never came because life as we know it, let death steal you away from me. Each day, people tell me to move on. But they do not know how I feel, they do not know how I deal with your absence.  I walked past the tree we spent time together under. It had no leaves and it was drying out. I know it is because it is winter, but for some reason, it felt like our love was withering and it hurt me. It hurt me even more when there were sweaty men with trucks that wanted to destroy our tree. And so, the tree being the only link I have to you, I hugged it. I held onto it hard though my hands could not embrace it whole, I tried as much. While I was there, I remembered the first time we sat back to back, you sang me a song. And at night we looked at the stars and you told me about the constellations. And the day you left, how you laid your head on my lap the day you died…

 

before mistakes are done

Remind me of the first time our eyes met.
We had been broken before and we were not seeking anyone.
We had no tears to let go.
No fears to hide under.
And we were walking along a path of sadness
When we met.
I forgot my pain
Forgot the way I felt
Your touch melted my heartache
And you embraced me warmly.
Remind me before I marry
This man who broke my heart before we met.
So that you give me a reason to set back time
And rewind to when you were mine.

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two is better than one

Before the earth knew itself, we lived then we were born after she blossomed. We did not want to live separately and so we stayed in there.

After birth, the first breathe we took brought us closer to dying. Then? We had not grown wings so we could never fly. We were learning how our heartbeats sounded. That was the music we danced to. Together.
We shared a lot before we saw the world. We breathed each other in.

I slept when you played, we twirled inside that place we cannot go back to. We can’t swim finger to toe, how can you go and leave me?

So, I don’t know you without me. We have been so entwined, I define you with me. I can’t let you go, so I will let myself go inside the Earth with you so that it swallows us whole, both.

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return my heart

I want to erase the memory of when I met you. When our souls connected in the weirdest of ways, you put yours in mine.

I want to forget how your eyes smile each time we talk. How you ease the painful memories away. And how just by looking at me, you undress all the fear that consumes me.

I want to let go of the times we spent walking. Through corridors, through streets, where we met us young and curious. When we were serious to find truth in our feelings.

I want to remove the memories that the flowers have of us. How you cut them and gave me one. How their scents sent impulses which I never felt.

Yes it was a few days ago but it feels like years. Feels like I knew you before you made me think you love me. You made me feel for you when you never did for me.

Get out! Leave my heart! Don’t take anything anywhere, you don’t belong here anymore. Stop tugging at my gnawing heart. This should have been over a long time ago.

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